:: How do we know…? ::
Sunday, January 27th, 2008Recently i met up with an old good friend of mine. We had a long chat updating about each others lives and stuffs. Apparently, she’s getting married soon and i’m getting engaged soon, too…I am happy for her, truly happy for her for i know for a fact that she has been waiting for this day since she’s with her fiance.
Surprisingly, as we got into more details about her preparations and all, i realised something isn’t quite right from her facial expressions…she lacked the excitement look on her face which got me curious…so i asked her if there’s anything she would like to share with me…
" G, i am not sure if i want to get married with him anymore actually.."
I was shocked. She continued..
" Just recently i found out that our relationship was basically based on a LIE…all this time i believed that i was never a 3rd party in his previous relationship…he thought i would be glad that he dumped his ex because he wanted to be with me when i confronted him…maybe you would think the same way too…but i am not the least bit happy…why? because it just simply shows that he is CAPABLE of doing the same to me or to any other girls…"
I felt for her instantly. I used to be in a long term relationship as well where a 3rd party was involved (which is not me btw) and i have vowed never to be involved with another woman’s man or be a victim again….therefore, i truly understand how she feels…
I tried to talk some sense into her but all seems futile. She started sobbing and i just don’t know what to do to help her…
"You know G, actually all these years i have been wondering why does he still hold on to his ex’s stuff and being so defensive whenever the topic of his ex comes to picture…and fyi G, he has no problem talking bout his others exes except the last one before me…i confronted him about it, he explained but somehow somethings just didn’t add up but i was tired of pursuing for the truth and reluctantly accepted his explainations…i’ve been trying really hard to not think about it until recently when we decided to tie the knot…i decided to search for the truth myself and sad to say, i’ve actually dug up can full of worms and now i’m no longer sure about us…"
I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. I just looked at her and said: "You know you were supposed to just let go of the past and most important thing is the future…at least you know that he loves you enough to want to marry you, right?"
"G, i know…i believe that he loves me…but i also believe that he still thinks of his ex…the ex that he speaks highly of…not in front of me but in his break up letter to her…"
My eyes widened…"Break up letter u said? And how the hell did you get hold of it?"
"Like i said i was in a mission to find the truth and answers for all my doubts…and i had to DIG HARD by all means possible…including invasion of his privacy…"
"G, it’s all made clear to me now and it all made sense now. All my doubts and insecurities were not just my active imagination. I know…i know…i shouldn’t dwell with the past instead concentrate on the future…but…how can i expect bright future when i am constantly bugged by all this "questions" and "doubts"?…and now, after finding out the truth and realising that he LIED to me since day one…HOW can i possibly be ok?"
Basically to cut the whole story short…
This dear friend of mine is now in doubts whether to go through with the wedding or not…she loves hes fiance but she doesn’t know if she can ever trust him again…also, she doesn’t know if she will be able to sincerely forgive and forget…
It’s sad to see her looking so lost….she used to be a very bubbly girl and she smiles and laugh alot…i kinda miss her old-self…i wish i can help but i believe nobody can really help her but herself…
It made me think:
how do we know that he/she is the one for us?